Balancing Mental Health and Social Expectations

Dear Amy:

I'm a woman in my mid-40s with two adult children.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life. I am on medication and work with a therapist weekly.

Until recently, the situation has been under control.

In the past few months, my mother had a stroke, my husband had a heart attack, and one of our children called off their wedding. I dealt with everything that was going on and then after everything calmed down I had a little breakdown.

I took some time off from work to take care of my mental health. When I returned, I was told that the company no longer needed it. It hurt a lot, but maybe it's actually time to move on.

After talking it over with my husband, we decided there was no need to rush back to work. I realized we could get by on his salary, but I still wasn't in a good place mentally. My therapist didn't think I was ready to go back to work and definitely not in a place to start a new job.

Since I am at home, I am accomplishing many things that I had been putting off due to lack of time and energy. Our house is very happy and very clean!

However, I have a hard time answering questions about my work.

When I tell people I'm out of work, there's always an unspoken question about why.

Since my children are adults and I am not disabled, what should I say if the question becomes personal?

– Young and happy retirees

Dear Happy:

A history of mental illness may make you sensitive to questions about your situation, but gently remind them that there's nothing to be ashamed of taking care of your mental health.

Still, you don't have to feel like you need to reveal your health history just to start a conversation.

Also, by the way, you're working. You take care of the hearth and the house.

I offer a friendly but vague response. “I quit my last job a while ago, so I'm taking a break until I start my next chapter. In fact, I love working from home so much that this might be my next chapter.” ”