One factor is that I moved to a new town a few months before the COVID-19 outbreak, so I don’t have any local friends. I’m retired, so I don’t have any co-workers. We know that joining a group is a great way to meet people.
I joined a church, but I rarely go. I’m “planning” to join a quilting club and get together with a group to play the augmented reality game I’ve always played.
Sometimes my husband suggests we go somewhere, but the thought of going out makes my stomach tighten and makes me want to cry. How can I get past this?
I want to go outside! : Your awareness that this is a problem, and your desire to change the situation, are very good signs that you can crawl out of this hole. You have already taken the first step! Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) offers a useful technique for overcoming anxiety. (I used CBT to work on my own anxiety about flying.) The basic idea is to start by recognizing the triggers, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that cause problems for you.
you are already doing that. Then use other actions to rewire your thinking. The adage “move your muscles, change your thoughts” may help. Build confidence by exposing yourself to the source of your fears in small, safe ways.
I recommend getting your husband to plan a simple outdoor adventure just the two of you. Please bring snacks, drinks and two lawn chairs. Drive to your local park, sit outside together, and simply enjoy the scenery as it goes by. Breathe symptoms when you leave the house. If you feel like crying, dare to let your tears flow.
Once you have a successful outing, build on that by gradually increasing the distance and variety. A few therapy sessions can help if you are unable to deal with this on your own. Some of the familiar augmented reality tools may come in handy here. I hope you can play Pokémon in your new city soon.
Dear Amy: I am 25 years old. My husband is 28 years old and we have a 7 year old son. We both work full time. I am also going to college for my master’s degree. we just bought a house
Here’s the problem. My husband always wants new ones. He wanted his ATV so he let me buy it second hand. Well, second-hand goods are useless. Now he wants to spend his $30,000 on a new ATV. That’s about the same as the price of my car.
I think it’s funny. He says he wants a new house now. I told him he might be able to do it once I graduated and paid off his student loan.
He didn’t get it and got mad at me and then walked away for like an hour. I tried to compromise and tell him how I felt, but nothing helped. I don’t know what to do. I’m starting to feel taken advantage of and that he only loves me when he gets the items.
ATMs: You say you bought a new house (great for your age), but your husband wants to buy another new house? I think you two have been together for at least seven years, but if this is the first time he’s been spending money like this, I suspect there’s something going on inside him that he hasn’t made public. think.
I think your husband actually understands that he can’t or shouldn’t buy every new toy he wants, but he doesn’t care. Both of you should consult a marriage agency or financial counselor. The sessions may not be as fun as a new ATV, but they are much cheaper and will help reveal what’s really going on with him.
Dear Amy: “upset“He blasted his music while working in his garage, angering his neighbor, who thrashed him on Facebook. Oddly enough, both of these men seem to have his wife handle this assignment. I would say that these two had to “get back on their feet.”
Neighbor: Agree.
© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
