Are you at risk of burnout? Quiz reveals your ‘boundary anxiety’ level

mental health

To Emily Lefroy

June 14, 2023 | 3:18 PM

Do you know when you crossed your line?

According to psychologists, “boundary anxiety” refers to a condition in which people, often referred to as “people pleasers,” are unable to set limits in their daily lives for fear of offending others.

“One of the key ways to deal with this anxiety and stress is to think about your personal boundaries and learn how to identify your needs within different relationships and areas of your life. said Dr. Gillian Doyle, senior clinical psychologist at Rotunda National Maternity Hospital.Ireland said daily mail.

Establishing clear boundaries not only helps build relationships, but also builds more trust, says Doyle.

“With healthy and clear rules, we can feel safe and respected, both physically and mentally,” she explained. “Reflecting on your limitations will help you understand your limitations and help you to value yourself more without being overwhelmed.”

Some research suggests that boundaries have a physical effect on the body as well as high stress levels caused by the inability to advocate for one’s needs. linked Digestive problems, headaches, anxiety and depression, concentration and memory problems, heart disease, and more.

To find out if your boundaries are clearly enforced, the Daily Mail spoke to British psychologist Margareta James, founder of the Harley Street Wellbeing Clinic. He created a handy quiz to let you know when it’s time to redraw your boundaries.

Each question has three answers, and the category answered determines the boundary most.

answer:

A – Rarely

B – sometimes

C – frequently

1. I realized that I can’t turn down things even when I don’t feel like doing them or have no energy.

2. You feel guilty about turning down other people’s requests.

3. I find myself trying to solve other people’s problems at the expense of my own needs.

4. Get angry/upset when others say no

5. I often feel “used” because I don’t meet my own needs

6. I feel so weak that I cannot voice my needs / I get frustrated that my voice is not heard

7. I feel resentment towards people when their demands put undue pressure on me

8. Overwhelming demands of others make you angry or anxious

9. I feel uncomfortable expressing my needs (including my body, energy, time, and resources) without feeling guilty, fearful, anxious, or stressed.

10. Reluctance to express your true feelings and needs without stress

11. I am so preoccupied with other people’s problems that I spend so much energy helping them.

12. People can ask me for help at any time of the day or night, and I will come to their aid at once.

13. People find me very friendly and tend to let them into my private space quickly.

14. I tend to share my personal information and opinions too quickly with others, which I may regret later

Mostly A: You have firm boundaries

If most say A, it means you know where your boundaries are and stick to them.

“You know what’s good for you emotionally and how to express your needs,” says James. “Even if you may have to decline requests from others when they need your time, energy, or other resources.”

People who mostly answered A are comfortable having their opinions heard and are not afraid to be told “no.”

“The only downside is that you can go too far in the opposite direction and stick to your own life rules too rigidly. Try to push yourself out of your comfort zone from time to time by trying new experiences you might have. ”

Mostly B: Difficult to express boundaries

Those who mostly answered B know they have boundaries to follow, but they always struggle to enforce them.

“It’s easier to stand up for yourself when you’re more confident and in a safer place,” James said. “But sometimes you allow people to call on you to solve their problems even when you’re tired or overwhelmed with yourself.”

To overcome this, she recommends reassessing what someone wants from you.

James asks: Once he finds himself exhausted not only by the demands of his own life, but also by the demands of others, he needs to rethink his boundaries in order to protect his energy and resources. ”

mostly C: no border

Those who primarily answered C often find it difficult to set clear boundaries, and this often leads to exhaustion.

“You’re a good listener, so when you get involved in someone else’s life, they’ll probably say ‘thank you,'” says James.

To overcome this and protect your own needs, James said to “get used to” the occasional conflict and stop tripping over guilt.

“Doing the right thing sometimes means allowing others to find their own solutions,” she said. “Get used to taking a step back from worrying about others and focusing on yourself. When you do, you will see your anxiety levels and overall well-being rise.”