An Autistic Woman Was Misdiagnosed With BPD for Years

• Bree Conklin was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when she was 27.
• Five years later, another doctor suggested she might have autism.
• Conklin said the experience made her more empathetic for people with autism and borderline personality disorder.

Bree Conklin was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) when she was 27.

A male doctor who diagnosed her when she was working in Germany said it was the cause of her meltdowns, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. He said Conklin dated multiple men at once, making her both “seductive” and “manipulative.”

But Conklin didn’t feel he was intentionally misleading anyone. “Looking back now, I took things literally and thought I could date multiple people at the same time and then decide who I wanted to be in a relationship with,” says Conklin, now 39. told an insider. “I was on dates three or four times a day because I thought that was what adults were supposed to do.”

After being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Conklin became very interested in the subject and bought several books on it. But after reading more about her mental illness, her diagnosis made her even more confused.

BPD is characterized by extreme fear of abandonment, mood swings, and unstable relationship patterns. According to the Mayo Clinic. Conklin recognized some symptoms, such as extreme mood swings and restlessness, but struggled to associate others. Also, in many of her books, lack of empathy and frequent lying were listed as features of the disorder, which she had nothing to do with.

Yet, for years, she clung to the diagnosis, telling partners and friends that she had borderline personality disorder. seeking treatment for a disability.

She was prescribed medication to make her symptoms worse.

To help manage her symptoms, Conklin was prescribed Abilify, an antipsychotic drug used to treat conditions such as borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia. But she said she experienced horrible side effects because of it.

“I didn’t leave the house for three months. I was convinced people would poison me if I ate anywhere,” she said. It wasn’t until she stopped her medication and started cognitive behavioral therapy that she felt better.

During this time, her relationships also deteriorated. She broke up with her partner of three years while on Abilify. In addition, she said, there were some people in her life who kept their distance because they “would never be in the same position as people on the border again.”

All of this made Ms. Conklin feel shame and guilt over her diagnosis. She said, “She felt like she was being punished, she didn’t deserve to be with people, and she almost didn’t want to because she didn’t want to hurt anyone.” she said.

Five years after initial diagnosis “It all came together,” she said, in that moment when she first learned she might have autism.

She realized she might have autism while pregnant

During her second pregnancy, Conklin began seeing a therapist who was confused about her diagnosis of BPD.Instead, the therapist focuses on Conklin’s sensory hypersensitivity, suggesting that Conklin maybe autism. Ms. Conklin also had her PTSD and trauma from her past, which her doctor thought was making her symptoms worse.

At first, Ms. Conklin didn’t know much about autism. But when she did some research on her own, she realized that her symptoms explained everything she had been through.

“Many of the symptoms of classic borderline personality disorder actually make a lot of sense when viewed through the lens of autism.” Dr. Megan Neffa psychologist, also in her 30s and diagnosed with autism, told Insider. For example, symptoms of both borderline personality disorder and autism include emotional dysregulation and mood swings.

Conklin finally got an explanation for some of the symptoms that didn’t seem to fit the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

When alone, she often rubs her fingers together or makes “strange noises” known as “stiming” as a means of calming herself down. She also noticed that her mood worsened dramatically before and after her menstrual cycle. This is common in people with autism.

It took her two years after being placed on the waiting list to receive an official diagnosis. But Conklin said the time in between was what changed her life.

“For once in my life, I felt like I wanted to be kind and compassionate to myself,” she said. She even encouraged another friend diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder to seek another opinion. Then her friend found out that she actually has autism and ADHD.

This experience made her realize how much stigma exists in both conditions.

Nef said both autism and borderline personality disorder have stigmas, although they are very different.

People with autism who are misdiagnosed continue to be judged and without support, which can lead to depression and suicide. “People with autism have much higher rates of suicide and self-harm,” says Neff.

Additionally, women with autism and gender nonconforming individuals more likely to be misdiagnosed. Neff said gender bias played a big role. Men with autism are often portrayed in the media, There is a stereotype of being a scientific genius.

On the other hand, there are also many prejudices for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. “Even in the mental health world, you’ll still hear from therapists who say, ‘I don’t want to work with people with borderline personality disorder,'” says Neff.

That experience made Conklin understand how people are treated differently depending on their diagnosis. For example, a German doctor considered her frivolous and unfaithful because she thought she had Borderline Personality Disorder.

Conklin said being formally diagnosed with autism helped people treat her better than when she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Claiming to have Borderline Personality Disorder, she tried for years to receive disability benefits, but was eventually diagnosed with autism and received benefits.

She also said that after her ex-husband learned that their son had autism, he stopped seeking full custody and was more patient with her.

Conversely, when people find out she has autism, she ends up feeling infantilized. She recently had to undergo a colonoscopy, but her doctors wanted to “tie her up” before doing so, which made her even more flustered. I just put it away.

Conklin said her experience has made her feel a lot of empathy, not just for people with misdiagnosed autism, but for people with borderline personality disorder.