Jeanne Phillips, aka Dear Abby (Photo by Andrews McMeel Syndication)
Dear Abby: When I married my husband a year ago, I dropped my health insurance plan and joined his family plan. Because her husband also provides insurance for their children, including adults. There was no additional charge to add me.
However, a few months later, the insurance company increased the monthly premiums for all employees. When her husband spoke to his adult children about helping pay for insurance, the children avoided answering and the matter was dropped. My husband recently brought up the topic again, and she received the same avoidance and excuse that she didn’t have enough time at work. They are also not full-time college students.
Immediately after the conversation ended, the adult child went on a social media rant about how his father was a total idiot for asking him to pay, and later posted several false accusations. This deeply hurts her husband, and his efforts to communicate with her are ignored.
My husband was never overbearing about it. He hoped that as young adults they would understand why they were being called upon to help manage their health. Instead, it turned out to be a childish and disrespectful attack. My husband now wants to remove this adult child from his insurance completely, and I agree, knowing the possible ramifications.
Does this make us the bad guys?Is it wrong to ask young people for help with medical expenses? — Hurt for your husband
Dear Harting: Your husband’s children may be over 21, but they acted like a child throwing a tantrum. Instead of being grateful for what they are given, they demand more. It is a mistake to continue to reward bad behavior. It was not a mistake to ask young people to pay for health insurance. In this situation, removing this “child” from your insurance policy does not make you the “bad person.” It makes you an intelligent person.
Dear Abby: When we first started dating, I told my wife that I didn’t want a dog. She seemed OK with it, but for the last 10 years she’s been putting a lot of pressure on me to get it. She now says she “doesn’t remember” our first conversation and she says she never agreed.
Since she works and I’m home with the kids, it’s my responsibility to take care of the pets, which I refuse to do. I get sick when I’m around dogs, but she thinks I’m compensating for my sensitivity because I don’t actively sneeze near dogs.
She is now rallying the children against me. We live a transient lifestyle and have to keep a dog for 1-3 months a year, which costs money we don’t have. I’m tired of this conversation and tired of feeling like I’m “ruining her life.” What should I do? — No Dogs in Oklahoma
Dear Dogless: Since you are losing the vote, there is a solution to the problem, so ask your doctor to refer you to an allergist, a doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating allergies.
Once that’s resolved, before adopting the dog, insist that your child be responsible for feeding, walking, and training the animal (there are penalties for non-compliance). That responsibility will teach them lessons that will prove valuable when they grow up.
When it comes to what to do with a new family member while traveling, it’s either finding pet-friendly accommodations or finding accommodations for “her” dog, which is my wife’s job, without breaking the bank.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com
