In the end, I admitted it. I’ve been crying all day. Staring blindly out the window. Unable to do the most basic tasks.
I woke up feeling the weight of the entire dark sky on my head, but I just couldn’t wait for the night to get back to bed.
depression. I became completely helpless.
Six months ago, my daughter, who was my science tutor, challenged my fierce opposition to drugs as blind prejudice. Now, a close and kind friend has stepped up to encourage me to do anything and everything to get help.
The truth is, I’ve tried most things over the years, writes Anne Atkins. I forgot how many therapists I had. The best I can say is that some people are not harming me
“Anne, I hope your life is better.”
“I’m going to the GP,” I said to my beloved husband later. “To seek antidepressants.”
‘good idea. ‘
Is that all? What about this bombshell statement?
For 30 years, I have resisted the little white pill, seeing the terrible destruction it can wreak.
Our bright and intelligent daughter developed severe obsessive-compulsive disorder in her early teens, and at her first hospitalization, she was forced to undergo insane treatments (a story for another day) and to completely eliminate physical and mental exercise. He was hospitalized due to complete lack of sensation and forced administration of drugs. – I believe it is responsible for making her many times worse and for why she is still completely disabled a quarter of a century later.
The only downside was that the kit cost £399 for the headset and the first box of pads (containing saline solution to deliver the current).
There are many side effects associated with antidepressants, even suicidal thoughts that I have witnessed, but I don’t want to take that risk.
But my love did not respond at all. But he’s very supportive and if I told him I was taking up skydiving blindfolded to give my life meaning, he would probably say the same thing.
I went straight from the surgery to the pharmacy…but when it came down to it, it was impossible.
Despite knowing what I knew and didn’t know about medicine, I couldn’t put the first pill in my mouth. So I put the packet back in my bedside cabinet and Googled “non-chemical depression treatments.” There must be something.
But same old, same old. St. John’s Wort. oh yeah. Once I swallowed the entire bottle. Please do not do this at home. – with the completely illogical justification that it is an herb and not a chemical. (And no, eating 24 in a row didn’t give me any more benefit than one a day.)
Online therapy: I tried it. Chiropody, hypnosis, massage, aromatherapy. From acupuncture to yoga.
The truth is, over the years I have tried most things…I lost count of the number of therapists. The best I can say is that some people are not harming me.
When my daughter first became ill, my GP arranged six sessions of NHS counseling.
Practitioner’s almost opening statement was, “Do you feel very guilty?” Given her daughter’s condition, she said, “I had to do it.” But it didn’t occur to me until she put the idea in my head.
It was all downhill from there. One therapist even made me suicidal in the end.
Also, I didn’t think that putting me in the lotus position or having needles inserted into my face would have much of an effect.
But suddenly, at the bottom of the page, something caught my eye. That is “Flow Neuroscience.”
Within a few days, a beautifully packaged box arrived with a big smile on my face.
Flow’s website offers sage advice on “exercise, diet, sleep, and meditation,” as well as advice on the fifth weapon in your arsenal: “transcranial direct current stimulation.” picture? In layman’s terms, it’s zapping the frontal lobe with a mild electric current.
I know, I know… Why is it so much more acceptable to push electrical pulses into the brain than chemicals?
But the more I read it, the more I liked it. The marketing claims that 30% of patients experience remission. More than 80% of people felt that their symptoms were reduced by more than half.
Importantly, it claimed to be harmless.
What was finally guaranteed was that it would also be available on the NHS. Granted, it was only in very limited areas and inaccessible to me, but this gave me confidence that it wasn’t full moonshine.
The only downside was that the kit cost £399 for the headset and the first box of pads (containing saline solution to deliver the current).
If it works, it’s worth it, and there’s a money-back guarantee.
But I’m skeptical. So I wrote to their news department and asked if they wanted me to try it. And within a few days, a beautifully packaged box arrived with a big smile on my face.
“Oh, look!” cried the medical student’s daughter. “You’re very friendly! You’ll be kind to me, right?”
“I’ll be honest,” I answered flatly.
This is where I discovered my second problem. All treatments are done via smartphone. I had to start by downloading the app. Really?
I was supposed to wear the headset for 30 minutes, 5 days a week, for 3 weeks to stimulate my brain. And don’t expect change before your time is up.
I plugged it in and turned it on.
And it felt like I was being stung very gently by a few half-hearted bees.
I was allowed to continue with my normal activities while wearing the headset, except for my morning swim. There, I took various courses on the app while my frontal lobe was stimulated by a friendly virtual bee.
I started with the “basics”. That means creating new habits. Avoid cycles of depression.
I skimmed other courses. Exercise; Sleep; Meditation.
I have been interested in healthy food and cooking since I was a teenager, so I decided to go straight to the “antidepressant diet” based on the principle that food is good for the health of the brain (as well as the body). did.
What I didn’t expect was that the information on the app would make any difference.
I was already eating as healthy as possible. No sugar or refined foods. Never buy instant meals or junk food. And long before anyone heard the word “keto,” I was avoiding carbs and eating protein-rich breakfasts like poached eggs, smoked salmon, and avocado.
But now they have started adding complex carbohydrates such as chickpeas. Bake bread in the granary. Try black rice, red rice, or wild rice. Brewing kombucha. And to my surprise, I tried kefir (and liked it even more).
For the first time since puberty, I was able to eat whatever I wanted and even lost some weight initially.
What’s next? What about “therapeutic sleep”? I’ve been experiencing insomnia since I was in college, and no one has taught me anything about sleep hygiene. Go to bed at the same time every night and avoid screens. yeah yeah.
My son tried this dual approach. “That’s cheating,” he said. “If you’re also changing the way you eat and getting more fresh air, how do you know the improvement is due to brain stimulation?”
Do you know anything? I didn’t care. As long as I’m getting better. And now it was undeniable.
By the second or third day I already felt different. By the end of week 1, I felt real improvement.
Because the app controls the electrical stimulation, you will not be able to continue treatment unless you complete weekly questionnaires. I am now reflecting on my performance.
According to the app, when I started in April, my depression score was above 30, ranking me in the “high-moderate” category (35 and above being “severe”).
Within 3 months my score dropped to 13 (12 in remission, 13 in successful treatment), but this has happened several times, but my score has always remained below 20.
As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t matter whether this is due to brain stimulation, the magic of lentils, or a placebo.
Of course, traditional medications and talk therapy can also be effective. I have witnessed clear effects of both in others.
But not only has therapy not helped me, it’s expensive, there can be long waiting lists on the NHS, and dropout rates are relatively high.
I think the reason it doesn’t help me is because I’m too critical and impatient.
I would like to know what to do. My piano teacher taught me how to practice scales, and my personal trainer helped me pace myself. Why can’t we take the same approach to mental health?
After all, some actions really help. During the coronavirus lockdown, I was going through some really bad family trauma.
I called my eldest son in despair. I wanted to drink half a bottle of whiskey right away, but felt like it might not do me any good in the long run.
“Let’s go to the beach,” she said.
‘are you angry? It’s November! ”
“Go into the sea.” There was nothing worse than a headache. So I immediately started running straight again.
I felt better immediately. She was right. If you conquer the North Sea, you will see that you can conquer many things.
Since then, like many people, I have endured the winter cold. Running in the snow in flip-flops.
And now the Flow Neuroscience app is telling me to move more and not just jump around. This time of year: 20 short lengths with unheated water. And yes, it will happen.
This is exactly how the flow neuroscience approach works for me. It is direct and directive. Let’s take concrete action. Let’s eat vegetables. Let’s exercise more.
So what about the fifth point of the pentagon, the headset? How does it work?
People with depression have been shown to have decreased activity in the front part of the brain, known as the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.
Slowness in this area is associated with all the symptoms of depression, including fatigue, lack of sleep, changes in appetite, and problems concentrating.
Introducing a very low electrical current (there’s nothing like electroshock therapy that’s 400 times more powerful) to both sides of the forehead is said to stimulate activity and increase the movement of nerve cells. This in turn reduces symptoms.
An independent study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research in 2022 found that this type of home-based transcranial direct current stimulation “results in significant clinical improvements and high acceptability that are maintained over time.” was shown.
And just a few weeks ago, a study published by King’s College London (sponsored by Flow Neuroscience) and published in the prestigious journal Nature Medicine found that patients with depression who used the device After a week of regular treatment, symptoms were shown to be significantly reduced. Their symptoms are better than patients who received the “sham” version of the treatment.
I continue to stimulate my brain at a maintenance level twice a week (recommended for 6-12 months) and now look forward to weekend sessions. I swam early, drank a generous pot of tea, and have now completed all courses. I use apps to write in my diary and read books while my forehead tingles.
I’m sure I’ll miss you once my year is over.
Considering what I have learned so far, I would definitely pay £399. And I’m currently researching non-chemical treatments for my newly diagnosed ADHD. Please pay attention to this space!
