Dear Annie: You asked your readers to call doctors by their last name unless instructed otherwise. Your writer called the doctor by his first name during the initial appointment. Had she never seen a doctor before? No one would think this was appropriate!
This is a formal professional relationship and there needs to be a certain amount of respect. This is not a casual friendship, this is a very important and sensitive relationship and you absolutely need to separate the doctor-patient relationship. It’s not a “let’s be friends” moment.
Yes, friendly relationships can develop, but they are built over years and with mutual respect. I believe this patient called her professor in college “Dr. X” – does she not know what to call her doctor?
In a healthcare environment, there are multiple healthcare providers, such as nurses, physician assistants, physical therapists, etc. It is important to understand who is providing your care and what is expected of that provider’s role. This may include using the term doctor or nurse, or if the provider prefers to be referred to by their first name only, communicate that preference to the patient.
If a doctor says, “Hello, this is Dr. Franconia,” the patient should call him Dr. Franconia. That’s it, really. — 30-year doctor
In my 30 years of medical practice, Dear Physician: Thank you for your letter, I have received similar feedback from several other physicians, including:
Dear Annie, Thank you for your thoughtful response to “Just Wondering,” who was confused when her doctor told her it was inappropriate to call her by her first name.
There is one thing I disagree with: I have been a physician for 39 years and never call an adult patient by their first name unless specifically asked to do so. Patient mistakes were awkward. Doctor mistakes were rude. — Manners matter.
Dear Etiquette Matters: I really like the way you signed your letter, and I completely agree that etiquette is important.
Dear Annie: I have enjoyed your advice columns for over 50 years. Until today, I have never felt compelled to write. Your response to “Just Wondering,” which asked about calling doctors by their first names, annoyed me. I wonder how much respect junior doctors have for their patients. If junior doctors expect others to call them “Dr.” out of professional respect, they should address older patients as Mr. or Ms. out of personal respect.
This is a formality that is often ignored today, but if others expect it, it should be honored. — Respectful Patient
Dear Respected Patient: Thank you for your comment. This is indeed a kind of golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated.
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