John Fetterman thought political career was over after depression treatment

news

by elizabeth carpen

WASHINGTON — Sen. John Fetterman admitted he had “dark conversations” about self-harm before hitting the “emergency brake” and seeking treatment for depression.

He remembers thinking about his three school-aged children. “I can't be a blueprint for my kids. I can't leave them alone and not make them understand why he did what he did,” the first-term Pennsylvania Democrat said before Sunday's broadcast. He spoke to NBC's “Meet the Press” in a very personal and reflective interview that was recorded.

So he went to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, on February 15 of last year. “He had nowhere else to go,” he said, something he often felt during his stay. And I thought, “What's left? ” Something like that. ”

He also doubted whether he would survive politically.

“When this film came out, it was a big story, where I was and where I was going. So I thought that was going to be the end of my career,” he said.

At the time he sought treatment for clinical depression, Fetterman was still battling the effects of a stroke he suffered in May 2022 while campaigning for one of the most contested seats in the Senate. . “My heart had technically stopped, and it was a high-stakes situation,” said Fetterman, 54. A pacemaker was implanted along with a defibrillator to manage two heart conditions: atrial fibrillation and cardiomyopathy.

His victory over Republican Mehmet Oz helped Democrats maintain the Senate majority and made him a national celebrity.

It was the height of his political career. But he couldn't get out of bed at his home in Braddock, western Pennsylvania.

“I really scared the kids, so they thought, 'Dad, you won.'” Why aren't we good enough? Why are you still so sad? Why is it more sad? ’ And it was hard to explain why I was like that. And of course a 9 year old wouldn't understand that. And it was terrible,” Fetterman said.

As a result, he said, he “begged me not to go to Washington, D.C.,” for an orientation session for newly elected members of Congress later that November.

Even though his favorite holiday was approaching, he couldn't imagine buying Christmas presents for his children or being “afraid” to be sworn in at the Capitol early in the new year.

Within two months, he joined Walter Reed. Aides described the new senator as withdrawn and uninterested in eating, discussing work, or routinely joking with staff.

“This is a conversation I've had with myself and with people who know they can't cope with depression. Are they starting to have dark conversations with themselves about self-harm,” Fetterman said. Ta. “Then things just kept going off the list. So I slammed on the brakes.”

He added: “I knew I needed help.”

Before seeing Walter Reed, Fetterman had never spoken publicly about his struggle with depression. Since then, he said he has experienced it intermittently throughout his life.

Walter Reed left the company at the end of March after six weeks of inpatient treatment because his depression was in “remission,” according to a statement from Walter Reed's office.

Doctors define “remission” as when a patient responds to treatment, returns to normal social functioning, and becomes indistinguishable from someone who has never had depression.

Since then, Fetterman has been a visible presence on Capitol Hill, joking with reporters, joking with Senate colleagues and speaking at Senate hearings.

For others currently “facing a really dark holiday season,” Fetterman offered some guidance: And this year could be devastating. Next year may be the best ever. And that's what happened to me. ”