WASHINGTON (AP) — Sen. John Fetterman He admitted having “dark conversations” about self-harm before hitting the “emergency brake” and seeking treatment for depression.
He remembers thinking about his three school-aged children. “I can't be a blueprint for my kids. I can't leave them alone and not make them understand why he did what he did,” the first-term Pennsylvania Democrat said before Sunday's broadcast. He spoke to NBC's “Meet the Press” in a very personal and reflective interview that was recorded.
So he examined himself On February 15 of last year, he was admitted to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. “He had nowhere else to go,” he said, describing how he often felt during his stay. What's left for me? ”
He also doubted whether he would survive politically.
“When this film came out, it was a big story, where I was and where I was going. So I thought that was going to be the end of my career,” he said.
Fetterman was still battling the effects of depression when he sought treatment for clinical depression. stroke He won it in May 2022 while campaigning for one of the most contested seats in the Senate. “My heart stopped strictly and it was very difficult. A touch-sensitive situation” said Fetterman, 54, who has a pacemaker. Embedded Defibrillators are used to manage two heart conditions: atrial fibrillation and cardiomyopathy.
his victory than the republican party Mehmet Oz helped the Democratic Party keep control He won a seat in the Senate and made him a national figure. It was the height of his political career. But he couldn't get out of bed at his home in Braddock, western Pennsylvania.
“I really scared the kids, so they thought, 'Dad, you won.'” Why aren't we good enough? Why are you still so sad? Why is it even sadder? ’ And it was hard to explain why I was like that. And of course a 9 year old wouldn't understand that. And it was terrible,” Fetterman said.
As a result, he said, he “begged me not to go to Washington, D.C.,” for an orientation session for newly elected members of Congress that would take place in the city later in November.
Even though his favorite holiday was approaching, he was “terrified” of buying Christmas presents for his children and being sworn in at the Capitol early in the new year.
Within two months, he joined Walter Reed. Aides described the new senator as withdrawn and uninterested in eating, discussing work, or routinely joking with staff.
“This is a conversation I've had with myself and with people who know they can't cope with depression. Are they starting to have dark conversations with themselves about self-harm,” Fetterman said. Ta. “Then things just kept going off the list. So I slammed on the brakes.”
He added: “I knew I needed help.”
Before seeing Walter Reed, Fetterman had never spoken publicly about his struggle with depression. Since then, he said he has experienced it intermittently throughout his life.
he left walter reed According to a statement from his office, his depression was in “remission” at the end of March after six weeks of inpatient treatment.
Doctors define “remission” as a state in which a patient responds to treatment, returns to normal social functioning, and becomes indistinguishable from someone who has never had depression.
Fetterman has since visible presence He joked with reporters at the Capitol, joked with his Senate colleagues and spoke at Senate hearings.
For others currently “facing a really dark holiday season,” Fetterman offered some guidance: And this year could be devastating. Next year may be the best ever. And that's what happened to me. ”
