Dear Amy: I am a woman in my 40s. I am very successful in my career and life. My mother is in her 70s. She is very unhealthy – she has always been unhealthy (mainly due to lack of exercise and improper diet).
Due to health issues, she has recently been prescribed opioids.
My opinion is that she uses them as a crutch. Instead of eating right and exercising, she takes another medication.
When I told my father, her caretaker, about this, he became furious and accused me of being a drug addict (yes, I smoke weed sometimes).
I think opioids are horribly dangerous, but I’ve seen too many people overdosing on them to be satisfied.
What should I do if something happens?
– upset
Dear Upset: You seem to be blaming your mother for health problems that you think can be fixed with exercise and diet.
You don’t mention being a doctor or nutritionist, but you actually don’t seem to know what your mother’s medical issues are or why she was prescribed opioids.
Your attitude is actually similar to your father’s.
You assume she is addicted to opioids and he assumes you are addicted to marijuana, when in reality you both may be using these substances in appropriate doses.
If you want to make a decision, you should learn about her condition and treatments and help care for her.
Dear Amy: The wife of a “heartbroken husband” left her husband because of a change in his behavior due to treatable anemia.
You say, “This falls under the sickness and health section of the marriage contract, but your wife clearly doesn’t have the fortitude to go through with it.”
I think that’s a very critical way to portray a wife.
As someone who “tough it out” for 45 years until I retired, I know there was more going on here than a lack of fortitude.
Be kind to your assumptions about your wife not including her input in the conversation.
– Deborah
Dear Deborah: I appreciate your perspective, but my husband’s opinion was the only way to answer this question.
You can email Amy Dickinson. [email protected] Or write to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
