I spent $12,000 getting devil horns and 100 piercings in my face. My mental health has never been better

• Blogger underwent extreme body modification to cope with trauma
• They claim weight lifting and body modification can help anorexia recovery
• Read more: Warning signs that a loved one may be suffering from anorexia

A Kansas blogger who has battled an eating disorder claims weightlifting and extreme body modification helped her cope with trauma and “overcome” her eating disorder.

Jesse Kirkpatrick, 27, who is nonbinary and uses the pronoun “they,” had a healthy relationship with food as a child.

However, in their late teens, they began to suffer from anorexia, which they attribute to severe childhood trauma.

Kirkpatrick turned to modification to heal their mental health. His extreme body modifications include a nasal septum elongation (the structure that separates the left and right nostrils), multiple lip piercings, a tongue elongation, lip elongation, nostril elongation, and a silicone horn implant on his forehead, making him look like a demon. It looks like.

“By the time I was 16, I suffered from anorexia for the first time and my weight had dropped to a frightening 98 pounds,” Kirkpatrick said.

Kirkpatrick said the animals have serious eating problems and will vomit blood after eating even small amounts of food.

“I was becoming weaker and there was nothing I could do about it,” they added.

They also suffered from anxiety and tachycardia, with heart rates exceeding 100 beats per minute.

“Over the years that followed, I found myself stuck in an anorexic cycle. Just when I thought I had it under control, I would relapse again.

“My condition worsened and progressed to multiple food allergies, making it even more difficult to eat and keep my food in check.”

Kirkpatrick then faced another medical challenge with a disc injury caused by physical abuse and a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, a chronic disease that causes widespread pain and tenderness throughout the body.

They took up bodybuilding and began modifying their bodies.

Kirkpatrick says, “My sleep habits have improved. My pain has decreased and I’m more active during the day. I can literally lift things without breaking my ribs. And best of all, here I am. I felt happier than I had in years.

“When I look in the mirror now, I don’t see a skeleton. I see a strong, powerful being. I can’t tell you how satisfying that is.

“Anorexia took everything from me. It rewired my brain chemistry and turned me into a walking corpse. I was dead physically and mentally.

“For me, having muscle means I can overcome my eating disorder no matter how many times it comes back. I won’t give up. Even if my worst enemy is myself, I won’t fight. I’m not going to fall.”

They estimate they have spent about $12,000 on these procedures over the past 10 years.

“My mandala tattoo represents my Buddhist faith and reminds me that we can overcome violence and hatred,” Kirkpatrick said.

“My nostrils are my favorite feature. They have proven to me that I can push beyond the limits of what my body is supposed to be capable of, regardless of the pulls and pulls of confinement. .”

Kirkpatrick’s future body modification plans include enlarging septum and lip piercings, splitting his tongue, getting full body tattoos, adding implants and horns, getting a “world record nostril,” and eyeball tattoos (with dye). (irreversible procedures where treatment is used). When injected into the white part of the eye, it slowly spreads to cover the white part of the eye.

He also started strength training on the advice of his doctor.

“The doctor suggested that exercising, even if only a little, can help ease the discomfort,” they said.

Kirkpatrick started going to the gym every day and building strength in his legs and biceps. Swimming, tennis, and yoga became part of their regular exercise routine and an “outlet for pain and anxiety.”

As soon as they started lifting weights and modifying their bodies, Ms. Kirkpatrick noticed that their physical and mental health improved.

Despite Kirkpatrick’s progress, she still struggles with managing her nutrition, even though cooking her own meals has been therapeutic.

They said: “Knowing exactly what you’re eating gives you peace of mind and control.”

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) estimates that anorexia affects between 0.3 and 0.4 percent of young women and 0.1 percent of young men at any given time.

Anorexia is also common in teenagers and young adults. NEDA estimates that young people aged 15 to 24 with anorexia are 10 times more likely to die than their non-anorexic peers.

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms include extreme weight loss, thin appearance, abnormal blood cell counts, fatigue, insomnia, dizziness or fainting, bluish discoloration of fingers, thinning or falling hair, constipation, cold intolerance, and low blood pressure. and so on. Absence of menstruation in women.

While not everyone appreciates or supports Kirkpatrick’s love of body modification, they’re happy with their progress after seeing the warm response from their TikTok followers.

They said: “People often say I’m going to hell because of the way I look, and they never stop going on about how my body is messed up. They call me ugly. They call me ugly. I call him a weirdo.

“But you know what? I believe it’s your mission to decide who you want to be and how you want to look. You’re the one who knows what’s best for your health, your pain, and your condition. It’s me.

“I am the protagonist of my own transformation, because in the end what really matters is how you see yourself.”