Dear Manners, I am a plus size woman. I eat healthy food, exercise and take care of myself. Due to things out of my control (medical conditions), I have always remained a plus size. Without exercise and a healthy lifestyle, I would be two to three times bigger than I am now.
I’m big, so people comment on my body size by saying, “If I stop eating bread, I’ll probably lose some of that weight,” or, “I should start exercising.” They seem to think it’s okay to do so. You’ll lose weight fast! “At least you have a pretty face.”
A stranger in line behind me at the register said, “If you drink more water and walk more, you’ll lose a lot of weight.” I told her, “I only drink water and green tea, and I walk for an hour every day.” She just told me that I must not be walking fast enough.
What’s a polite way to tell them that they’re making false assumptions and crossing the line, and that it doesn’t really matter to them?
Gentle Readers: In more subtle times, there were expressions for dealing with outrageous intrusions. “Please pardon me!” Or, in the case of brutal intrusion, “How dare you do that?”
Today, Miss Manners recognizes that people tend to take such expressions literally. She already hears them asking why they have to apologize for the rudeness of others.
No no no. It was clearly understood to mean “You should excuse me” or, more bluntly, “That’s none of your business”.
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(If you have any questions, please send an email from Manner’s website. www.missmanners.com; her email at [email protected]. or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. )
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Copyright 2023 Judith Martin
Distributed by Andrews McMille Syndication
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
