One therapist shared a list of things parents should avoid with their children to avoid trauma.
Morgan Pomelis, a childhood trauma therapist from Ontario, Canada, shared helpful tips for parents to use while parenting on her Instagram account.
“Parenting is stressful and no one expects parents to parent perfectly,” Pomelis said. “Kids don’t even need perfect parenting. All they need is ‘safe parenting.'”
Pommeris shares 12 things parents should avoid with their children.
In Pommeris’s post, she “begged” parents to read it and incorporate it into their parenting style to avoid sifting through childhood trauma as an adult. I shared a list of things I was doing.
“I yell at my kids as soon as I get home from work.” Pomelis writes in first issue. Both the second and his third revolved around the same theme of not using emotional warfare to punish children. “When I’m frustrated, I give the whole room and my family the treatment of silence.”
Pommeris added that parents should not wake their children up with “loud or aggressive noises.” In her post’s caption, she further elaborated on these rules, pointing out that psychologically yelling at children does nothing but harm their nervous systems.
“All of this can trigger the body’s stress response, and if we have to continue living in fear, we can go into fight-or-flight and *stay there.” she writes.
Pomelis urged parents not to leave their children traumatized.
For the third, fourth, and fifth lists of things parents should avoid, Pommeris said that when parents inflict deep emotional trauma on their children, the young grow up and seek therapy to overcome their parents’ harmful treatment. I explained that I often ask for or talked to them.
“Siblings are treated so differently that it becomes clear which one you prefer.” she listed as the third point. “When kids share their hurt, they say, ‘I think I’m the worst mother,’ and they refuse to apologize, saying, ‘You don’t need to apologize’ because you’re the parent.”
According to the data obtained by Managing Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services, childhood trauma is fairly common. More than two-thirds of children reported at least one traumatic event by age 16.
Pommeris stressed that if children go through these experiences with their parents, they shouldn’t feel lonely or worthless because of it. “I promise you’re not alone. I promise you deserve better,” she claimed.
Pommeris pointed out the unrealistic standard of being a “safe parent” rather than being a “perfect parent.”
for Pommery’s last few points, she explained, children don’t have to be responsible for their parents’ feelings. “If you’ve been here long enough, you’ll know that I’ve been forever telling parents to stop giving their kids a hard time,” she wrote.
“Expect the whole family to walk on eggshells when they’re in a bad mood. They don’t protect their children from their parents when they do something legitimately wrong or harmful. I rely on them for moral support to do so.” [with] partners,” said Pomelis for the sixth, seventh and eighth issues.
She said parents need to put their child’s safety first in any situation, and failing to do so will only cause them to grow up and seek out a pediatric therapist.
“Under treatment [your children] It’s unfair because “the world is unfair…” but this doesn’t really “prepare” anything. See children as extensions of yourself. They are more than this. I believe they should be grateful because you feed and house them. This is your job,” she concluded. list the last three things Parents should stop
When parents actively use any of these tactics in their parenting style, they not only provoke resentment from their children, but they also have a significant impact on their self-esteem.
“Let me be clear, I firmly believe that 99.9% of parents are doing their best,” Pomeris clarified. “Most of these mistakes are made on a subconscious level, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have consequences, and that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for better things.”
Breaking the cycle of childhood trauma can lead to a healthy transition into adulthood.
Parents play an important role in ensuring a safe environment for their children to grow up in, which helps minimize the risk of childhood trauma.
In contrast, when parents create a loving and safe environment, children are more likely to develop positive self-esteem and strong identities. This foundation helps you navigate social relationships, cope with peer pressure, and build a positive self-image.
As Pomelis noted, parenthood doesn’t come with guidebooks and training classes. This is lifelong, demanding work, and it doesn’t end after the kids are 18, officially considered the beginning of adulthood.
It is important to note that no parent can completely shield their child from all potential sources of trauma. However, by actively working to break the cycle of childhood trauma, parents can greatly reduce the risks and the impact of childhood trauma on their children’s lives.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news and lifestyle writer whose work delves into contemporary issues and experiences.
