According to Flowers, younger generations are resisting “gradual thinking of grief.” Because it implies that there are right and wrong ways to mourn a loss.
Flowers, who was 21 when her mother died of lung cancer, said many dinner party attendees felt it was the first time they had experienced death up close in society. And we often fail to find the right support system to meet our need to share the intimacy of grief—whether it’s the strangeness and loneliness of grief, dating difficulties, or reassessing career priorities.
According to Flowers, the coronavirus forced the Grief Dinner Party to go virtual, but as a result, the geographical restrictions on tables were removed, allowing more people to connect. Flowers said there is now a virtual table for BIPOC griefers—those who have lost someone to suicide or who have had a miscarriage.
According to Flowers, a study of more than 350 dinner party attendees found that the stronger the trusting relationship at the table, the more likely it was that the experience of grief would be “normalized.” This predicted a cascade of other positive benefits, including personal growth, empathy for oneself and others, and a sense of life’s meaning and purpose.
“We interpreted that to mean design for community, and healing will come,” said Flowers.
