Psychologist warns parents of telltale signs that something is ‘wrong’ with their child

As parents, we only want our children to grow up happy and healthy. But just as adults struggle in life by going through difficult situations, your little ones can do the same.

The idea that something isn’t right for your child is worrying, but don’t panic. Experts share helpful words of wisdom.

Child psychologist Professor Sam Wass spoke with The Mirror, and as part of that, he uncovered some of the signs your child may need emotional help.

The professor, an expert in children’s stress and attention and who previously appeared on the Channel 4 show The Secret Lives of 4 and 5 Year Olds, has a hard time determining that something is wrong with young children. claims there are two different ways.

In collaboration with Virgin Media O2’s Connected Playground, he said:

“The first is what we call externalizing behavior, which is what happens when a child feels bad on the inside, and they take it out into the world and go and hit their sister or It moves, runs around, breaks things, and is very chaotic.

“So if you see a change in your child’s behavior and you have a child who tends to externalize and bring up bad moods into things, it’s very easy to spot that something is wrong. More and become more contentious.

“It’s a type of child, and if you have that type of child, they tend to manage their bad moods all the time.

Experts have discussed internalizing behavior, another overt behavioral pattern that parents should watch out for.

Professor Wass believes these signs are “much harder” to spot, and urges parents to make a real effort to pay attention to these troubling signs.

“Internalization is the exact opposite pattern, so when a child is in a bad mood, they turn things toward themselves and their ability to communicate diminishes,” he says.

“When they don’t feel good about themselves, they do what we call rumination, so they have thoughts spinning around in their heads, but they don’t tend to share them.

“It’s common in families, so you may find yourself hoarding up your worries and not talking about them much.

“This can be difficult for parents to discern in their children, but when they are worried or distressed about something, they communicate less, make less noise, and often find themselves You can take action in. It will be hard to get them to open.”

He continued: you take care of them ”

So what exactly do you do when you notice your child exhibiting any of these obvious behaviors?

According to professors, the biggest mistake you can make, whether you’re internalizing or externalizing your behavior, is to tell your child not to do what you do or not feel what you feel. is to say

“The problems seem diametrically opposed, but the most scientifically-based solutions are the same: suppressing emotions doesn’t work, it doesn’t work for adults, and it definitely doesn’t work for children. Just tell someone to cancel their feelings,” he explained.

“For example, every time in September, I see parents marching their children to the first day of school, holding hands and walking in tears. don’t

“And that’s exactly what goes wrong.”

The expert went on to say that instead of telling children what they shouldn’t feel, they should try to explain to the child what their emotions are.

“What I think works is describing what the child might be feeling. We call this metacognitive awareness. “It’s something we never teach kids in school, but it’s something we have to learn.”

“Children are not aware of what they are feeling. You cannot explain it because they are not aware of it themselves. Only by describing how we feel can children gain self-awareness about what.”

He added: “Something about being aware of what we’re feeling helps us manage that feeling and reduce it.

“What I do as a parent is help my child gain self-awareness about what they are feeling. To help them better understand and learn what their own emotions are. , and label it.”

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