Seeking therapy is an essential component of true self-care. Therapy is a process that helps people understand themselves better. It shows them how to communicate effectively, how to identify their emotional needs, and gives them the tools to navigate the often tumultuous world of relationships.
But the rise in mental health awareness also has some downsides. Specifically, the spread of “Therapy Speak” This can be defined as the use of psychological language in everyday life.
Misuse of therapy terminology can occur when a particular term is used incorrectly, such as applying it to a situation where it does not fit its meaning.
Below are 11 examples of “weaponized therapy speech.”
1. Labeling
a Mental health content creator Dr. Ana Therapy speak has been described as “a normative way that is learned primarily by therapists and therapy clients to communicate with other people.”
Part of a therapist’s job is to teach people how to communicate effectively, but Dr Anna recognises the pitfalls of therapy speak, saying: “Therapy speak has a sinister flip side, which is that people use it in very hyper-individualistic ways.”
“They use it in an unnatural, unnatural way, and I feel like it erases any empathy for the person they’re talking to,” she continued. “It can sometimes be used as a weapon by manipulative people.”
A common example of weaponizing treatment discourse is the application of clinical labels to people who do not have a professional diagnosis.
Labeling is also known as “desk psychology.” It is an inherently harmful practice, especially when perpetrated by people who are not professionally trained mental health professionals.
Labeling can take many forms, such as calling a self-centered person a narcissist or using the word “manic” to describe someone’s behavior.
Not only do labels overly simplify complex issues, but they also alienate and marginalize others without the labeller fully understanding what they are going through.
2. Blame
Weaponizing the language of therapy also occurs when people use psychological terms to blame others for their own behavior.
Saying things like, “If only I knew how to deal with my emotions, this wouldn’t be a problem” or “Your emotions have nothing to do with me” are examples of blame.
Blaming has obvious negative effects on relationships: It harmfully shifts the focus from one person’s behavior to the other person and denies that the other person is responsible for the negative interaction.
3. Project
Projection is similar to blame: Projection occurs when one person imposes their own personal, inner feelings onto another person without really understanding or considering the other person’s experience.
When a person projects, they essentially misinterpret their own difficult or negative feelings and push them onto someone else — like claiming that their partner is angry when in fact they are.
Projection is harmful to relationships because it allows the projector to pretend that nothing is wrong while avoiding emotional issues.
4. Dismissal
Ignoring can be defined as using derogatory comments to weaken someone’s feelings and make them feel unimportant.
This occurs during moments of conflict or tension when one partner essentially tells the other that their experience has no value.
Dismissal makes the other person feel small or insignificant and discards them in a way that gives one party power or control over the other.
5. Disabling
Denial hurts others because it denies their true humanity. Ignoring what someone is going through emotionally sends the message that you don’t care about them.
No matter what issues arise, even when you disagree, there is great value in acknowledging the other person’s feelings. Letting the other person know that you understand and are listening is crucial to maintaining rapport and deep emotional intimacy.
6. Divert
Deflecting is the act of shifting the focus from yourself to your partner, as in, “It’s not me who’s emotionally unstable, it’s you.”
This is a way of saying, “It’s not me, it’s you,” and it can leave people in relationships feeling isolated and alone when it comes to resolving emotional issues.
7. Becoming defensive
Being defensive is another form of emotional deflection that occurs when you have trouble controlling your emotions.
Being defensive can sometimes mean shutting yourself out and losing your ability to listen, have tough conversations, or hear criticism of your behavior.
This can be seen as a maladaptive survival strategy that we adopt when we can’t afford to acknowledge and accept our emotions.
8. Using clinical terms out of context.
The main way therapy speak is misused to cause harm is by assigning words to people’s behavior without understanding the full extent of their lived experiences.
This manifests itself in many ways: What popular psychology and social media have in common is the diagnosing of people based on snippets of their personality, without any professional qualifications.
Telling someone they’re gaslighting you when they’re not, or telling them they have antisocial tendencies simply because they’re exhibiting behavior you don’t like, are classic examples of taking psychological terms out of context.
9. They are emotionally manipulative
Therapy talk can be harmful when used as a weapon to manipulate others into behaving the way you want them to.
Gaslighting is a classic example of emotional manipulation, along with being passive-aggressive and not saying how you really feel.
Emotional manipulation in relationships is a form of coercive control that often means abuse. It can be subtle, but it leaves the person on the receiving end feeling insecure and guilty.
10. No Liability
Knowing how to apologize is a key component of resolving conflict in relationships and a natural part of building a partnership with someone.
We all make mistakes, but the steps we take afterwards will determine whether we are being honest with ourselves and our partners.
Not taking responsibility for your own negative behavior creates distance and may mean the dissolution of the partnership.
Leading with repair in mind is a healthy approach to the conflict that will inevitably arise between people, whereas weaponizing the language of therapy leads people to build walls and remain divided from one another.
11. Avoid conflict
Incorrect use of psychological terminology can also be a way to avoid direct conflict with a partner.
Deflecting, ignoring, or invalidating the feelings of others forces us to retreat rather than opening up a dialogue that can lead to compromise.
Using Therapy Speak works best, allowing people to express themselves and be compassionate about their feelings and how others come into the world, while also giving a sense of community.
At its worst, it creates a huge disconnect and leaves people in a state of lack and rejection instead of understanding.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer for YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers all things related to social issues, pop culture, and the entertainment industry.
